I'm gonna kill my fucking roommate!

Sam will fuck anything and I'm not kidding. Not anyone, ANYTHING. Weird homeless chicks I can understand, but the carpet, the couch cushions, a shopping bag, the stucco walls, fruit, a ziplock bag of raw eggs. Sam came home last night super wasted like a wobbling deaf slug, woke me up by wandering into my room and knocking shit over. I had to get up and push the walking corpse outta the door cuz he wouldn't leave!?!? The next morning I found several of my freshly washed and rolled up pairs of socks all crusted and hard like goddamn cement tennis balls in the corner next to my bed. I gotta get a real job and get rid of this wierd queer or I'm gonna kill him!